Funny Stories

- Daddy, what’s the meaning of life? – Everything in life has its meaning except searching the meaning of life…

The doctor and his wife were having a heated argument at breakfast. As he stormed out of the house, the man angrily yelled to his wife, “You aren’t that good in bed either!”

By midmorning, he decided he’d better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife, clearly out of breath, answered the phone.

A dialog between a woman and her husband:

W: Darling, look! I’ve bought this dress just for $200, what a good buy!

H: Oh, yes… Goodbye, 200 dollars…

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

A youngster is quarrelling with his parents:

“I’m sick and tired of being with you all the time, coming home at the right time. I want freedom, beer, girls! I’m going away and don’t try to stop me!”

He is decidedly going towards the door. His father is coming up with him at the doorway.

A man goes into his son’s room to wish him goodnight. His son is having a nightmare – the man wakes him and asks his son if he is OK? The son replies he is scared because he dreamt that Auntie Susie had died. The father assures the son that Auntie Susie is fine and sends him to bed.

A wealthy couple had planned to go out for the evening. The woman of the house decided to give their butler, Jerves, the rest of the night off. She said they would be home very late, and that he should just enjoy his evening.

A young mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, “All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we’re going down the tracks.”

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places.

I bought my wife a mood ring so that I could tell when she was in a good mood for me to ask if I could go fishing. When she is in a good mood, the ring is a pretty light green that matches the colour of her eyes. When she’s not, the ring leaves a little red mark right in the middle of my forehead.